0:00: Geordi in a red shirt sitting on the bridge? They really were still in flux at this point.
Man those wacky reclining chairs at the front of the bridge look they'd be comfy for like five minutes, and then after that you'd be all UGH I CANNOT REACH THE WARP REGULATOR BUTTONS JEEZ
0:02: "Indications of what humans would call 'a wild party'?" Man, Data, you are really pushing the Spock analogue hard in these early episodes.
0:03: I forgot that the big DRUNK VIRUS Original Series episode was the first one after the pilot. God, they wanted Original Series fans to like them SO HARD.
0:05: OH DAMN GEORDI GETTIN' PISSY
0:06 - This early relationship between Riker and Data involving Data's feelings of superiority and his subsequent guilt over those for feelings is kind of cute.
0:07 - GEORDI IS OFF THE GRID, PEOPLE. Should've installed RFID tags in all your crew members, Starfleet. WHERE'S YOUR PRECIOUS QUASI-FASCISM WHEN WE NEED IT
0:09 - Oh my god Wesley that machine you made to make Picard say anything you want is just about the creepiest thing possible
0:10 - I wonder if LeVar had to resist saying MY GOD IT'S FULL OF STARS in this scene
0:12 - They're making this big deal out of Geordi yearning for normal sight. HOW ODD, CAPTAIN. FOR SOME REASON HE SEEMS TO NOT WANT TO BE A FREAK WITH MACHINE EYES WHO LIVES IN CONSTANT PAIN
0:13 - Eyes on the screen, Data, stop blabbering about proverbs. You're looking at like four records per second, you cannot lose focus because you like "human folklore."
0:15 - DATA IS NOT CONVINCED BY YOUR ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY, CAPTAIN
0:16 - Ugh, guys, if the infection is transmitted by touch, we don't need a sound effect when characters touch. We can figure that out by ourselves. #findingfooting
Data, I'll be honest, when the captain says "snootful," I don't know what the fuck he's talking about either. #jeanluc #comeon
0:18 - Man, Tasha, if you want a new look, you should find something that takes advantage of that big ol' butt. #tashagotback
0:19 - Wesley, you prick. Tasha got drunk and starting macking on dudes. You got drunk and started being a creepy usurping jackass.
Hey, that was the Original Series whistle! Weird.
0:20 - Seriously, Wes? After naming yourself captain, your order is for more ice cream? Jesus, this show.
0:21 - Oh man this aborted dirty limerick that Data recites was a HUGE running gag between me and my brother when we were kids, and it's still hilarious. Somehow, Data and Picard are BOTH the straight man, and it still works.
0:23 - OH MY GOD TASHA JESUS I forgot how hideous your "hot" costume is! Why did you do your hair like that I have never known a lady to get wasted and then give herself a Superman s-curl.
0:24 - "I am programmed in multiple techniques." I still cannot believe that Data is actually, non-figuratively programmed to fuck. Why oh why would that be a thing.
It's like they decided "Ok, this is not going to be a show about romantic or sexual tension. So, let's just have everyone fuck and grind IN THE SECOND EPISODE." And yet, somehow, this show conitnued to have more romantic and sexual tension throughout its seven seasons.
0:26 - Oh man oh man. Do I make a Reading Rainbow joke about Geordi saying he's never seen a rainbow, or so I make a Fiddler on the Roof joke about him saying he's never seen "a sunset... sunrise..."?
0:27 - Crusher is playing this like the zombie apocalypse story it totally is. She's the first one to realize she's infected before the effects become apparent, and it's my favorite part of these kinds of stories. Except instead of "Oh god I'm about to die and be undead" it's "Oh god I'm about to get drunk." Not quite as intense.
0:30 - "Got to find the answer, I must find the answer..." SELL IT, GATES, SELL IT
Oh my god Drunk Data is the greatest thing in the world. They clearly wanted to give Brent Spiner some fun acting stuff right away.
0:31 - HAHA OH MY GOD PRATFALLS IN SPACE I LOVE THIS SHOW
Holy damn
"Mrs. Crusher, you're trying to seduce me."
Crusher looks way hotter with mussed hair and her uniform than Tasha does all dolled up AND I AM NOT ASHAMED TO SAY SO
0:32 - Oh my god they want to bone so bad oh my god Patrick Stewart you are so underrated as a comedic actor
0:33 - HAHA THAT LITTLE WAVE HE DOES
0:34 - The fact that no one punches Wesley in the face after the force field comes down is inexcusable.
Wait, is Riker not infected? Did I miss something?
0:36 - I don't know why, but this shot of Data putting the chips back in at superspeed has always stuck with me.
0:37 - "You will address me as 'captain.'" Oh man, Jean-Luc totally likes to bang with the uniforms on
0:40 - KABOOOOOOM SOUND IN SPACE MOTHERFUCKERS
0:41 - Beverly Crusher: Sober, But Still Sassy
0:42 - "So. This must be the human emotion known as 'Awkward.'"
"We shall have a fine crew, if we can avoid temptation." Uh, yeah. Good luck with that, Jean-Luc.
Palate-cleanser: Ratatat vs. Michael Jackson - Billie "Wildcat" Jean
